Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[sandi2]

Now man that takes the cake doesn't it? He resents he wife from keeping him from his OW! Well, that is the mind of a WAS, however, not all of them are so brazen as to actually word it to their S.

You will always be seen as the bad guy as long as he is in MlC, IMHO. There are very few that come around right away to see what a jewel they have in their spouse b/c most of them can't stand who they are M too! Some women have stood by their M for years and would finally have their H's to return home and then have to wait another year before hearing that he loved her. I don't know that I could do it! However, I am probably constructed out of a different make-up than those who can endure it. It takes all kinds of women and I don't think I would do it, but who knows until you are in the stitch? I think you need to talk to more people that have been in the MLC w's shoes b/c I am afraid I will tell you the wrong thing. If you can find imLin's thread on the MLC forum, she is very good help. Also, AmyC is somewhere on one of these forums and she would help. Those were my two that helped me so much. Both H's suffered years of MLC. One's H came back, and one didn't--unless it has been recently.

I'm afraid I would tell you to forget this man and move on with your life until he comes to his sense, b/c you would be happier than living in the same house and seeing on a daily bases him draining you bit by bit of your life. The roller coaster ride you would be on......I don't know if it is worth it.....only you can determine that. I do believe if his A is exposed and the excitment and secrecy is worn off that it won't be near as much fun for them. If you remove yourself from the picture (and I don't mean divorce, I just mean remove yourself from his presence or even the house if necessary) then I think it will blow over. He may or may not turn to another woman, but he could do that if you stayed with him. Go talk to some people in MLC and get some advice.

Sandi