The only way forward is to genuinely accept him "as-is" - with no limited warranty against defects in materials and workmanship.
The other way forward is to accept that this is not acceptable to you. What person fights for a relationship where the other partner has made it clear through their actions that they simply don't have an interest in you?
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You are holding out for him to meet some pretty big expectations
As you should.
When a spouse has left us, abandoned us, separated their lives from ours, and ESPECIALLY when they have chosen to involve themselves with a new person in ANY capacity...well then the dynamics have changed.
We are RIGHT to have certain expectations.
We are RIGHT to refuse to accept less than what should be.
We are RIGHT to expect an EQUAL commitment to healing the relationship.
Perhaps your husband is approaching honesty with you because he realizes that you will not settle for what you had before. Maybe your strength and insistence has finally registered and he has begun to realize that there is no hiding who he is and what he is willing to bring to the relationship table.
None of this means that there is no chance.
But I reject the notion that this remains YOUR job to save.
You have to decide how long you are willing to live your current life with your current relationship with your husband. There are at least small suggestions now that perhaps he is setting himself up for some changes. But there are no guarantees that changing of jobs is for any reason other than to give him more free time.
You will have to tread water waiting to see if he ever comes around to becoming interested in you and willing to reach out to you. How long can you do that?
Whatever your decision, I at least wanted you to hear from one person that this is NOT your job only.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
