Wow, what a day! I think you told him just what he needed to hear - the truth. But I also think you said it to remind yourself of the truth.
About the other... A's have no shame until they get sober.
BTW, the new guy on my thread - volleydog, is two years into his recovery and is having a hard time getting his w to trust him. He seems like a good man and I find it helpful to see the other side.
