I have to agree with beginnersmind. They all want their cake and eat it too. I'm so sorry that things have turned out the way they have for you. I do hope that this dose of reality will set her clock in motion and wake her up a bit more.
Take care of yourself and your little one.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
She called a little bit ago regarding my daughters enrollment. I was outside. She left a message saying she had filled out our information and that she was going to pay the enrollment fee. There was just a couple of things she needed me to answer.
Then she said. " They are going to want to meet with d5 and probably both of us too." As she was saying this I could hear my son and my daughter in the background, my daughter asked who she was talking to. I heard her ask my ex again and she snapped at her. "I am leaving daddy a message!!"
I just got another email. I don't know what the deal is (if any). All I know is that I have been as dark as possible and lately I get contacted for anything little thing.
She told me the details about my daughters school (which I will find out tonight anyway) and then said she bought her flip flops and to please return them on Thurs. She also asked for one of my daughter's dresses.
She went on to say she made her a doctors appointment in August and ended the email with "I'll be in touch."
This is like the sixth email I've received and not responded to. Not to mention a couple of phone calls. I'm sorry...I just really don't want to deal with her at all. I'll make sure to send the stuff with my daughter that she asked for. As for the "I'll be in touch." Really??
She's feeling the thread that binds you slipping away. In her mind, you need to be right where she left you and at her beck and call 24/7. She's in a type of panic that requires trying to get in touch w/you. Many of them do this and once you touch base, it's back to the way things where. If I where in your shoes, I would continue doing exactly what you are doing. She needs to understand that there are consequences to her actions.
I'm sure others do feel her wrath. She's got to take it out on someone.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I plan on staying as dark as I can. It's a bit difficult with two littles ones, but I will continue. I bet she would be tickled if I let her have the best of both worlds. It's not going to happen. I still have the door cracked open, but it's still way too early in all of this for any type of "real" contact. She never did really have chance to feel me totally gone while separated. It's better for me as well at this point now that our D is final.
I found it funny that on the ride home my daughter mentioned 4 different things involving me that my ex had talked about with her over the weekend. That is a first. I guess she told her to ask me to take her to dinner at a place that I like to go eat among other things. Again I'm not putting anything in to this it's all too strange.
I've been busting my butt to try to make ends meet. I have a lot of work ahead of me to get out of this hole I'm in financially, but I'll do it. I have to.
