Hey everyone.. I cracked it !!! I am making a outsize book, 3 foot by 2 foot, with pages floating off, somehow sticking straight off the wall..rising like a staircase, gently at first, then getting further and higher apart.. its my "arduous journey to wisdom" (Saturn opposed the Sun, if you're into astrology)..and trying different papers, Nepalese paper works! Its thin and light but super strong and rigid. I am so relieved!

Neaj.. how I seem here is not how I seem to him, I can be honest here though! So, seems you all think...do nothing!.. the 2 week thing though is freaking me out because of the damn Mercury Retrograde.

So yes, I was on the phone to him for nearly an hour.. he was chatty but sounded slightly nonplussed and yawned alot.. I joked, you must be v tired, or I must be v boring! He joked back, but then corrected it to, no, but in all seriousness you are NOT boring me at all.. so phew, a little reassurance for once! I talked about college, asked his opinion on the staircase, made NO mention of seeing him, said I am so busy..

He said he has a MF staying for the bank holiday weekend, I said "ohhh.." disappointed then mentally slapped myself and corrected it to a "OHHH! Sounds great!" he invited me (in a slightly awkward way) to go out with them Saturday and stay over. I have known this MF longer than him, 17 years.

So no mention of seeing me this week...he has football tommorow, a leaving do Thursday so that leaves Wednesday or Friday.. else its another night of drinking, with MF, Saturday.. so no time alone.

Rob.. I DID feel his passion! Friday night and again Saturday morning .. haha... but just a peck on the lips since.. seems like he is backing off a little since. I just have to accept it though and go at his pace. I might take advantage and quiz him gently when he is drunk on Saturday..I'm not feeling the romance yet.

Jeff, interesting perspective.. he thinks I ought to hate him. I guess the guilt could be hard to handle for him. He's still not 'with' me mentally.. he knows I am stupidly busy and a normal partner would offer to bring food, or takeaway or cook whilst I got on with this last week of my degree... but he hasnt offered. Still wrapped up in himself it seems and not able to 'give' to me yet. Or maybe he hasnt decided he wants back yet?