I plan on staying as dark as I can. It's a bit difficult with two littles ones, but I will continue. I bet she would be tickled if I let her have the best of both worlds. It's not going to happen. I still have the door cracked open, but it's still way too early in all of this for any type of "real" contact. She never did really have chance to feel me totally gone while separated. It's better for me as well at this point now that our D is final.
I found it funny that on the ride home my daughter mentioned 4 different things involving me that my ex had talked about with her over the weekend. That is a first. I guess she told her to ask me to take her to dinner at a place that I like to go eat among other things. Again I'm not putting anything in to this it's all too strange.
I've been busting my butt to try to make ends meet. I have a lot of work ahead of me to get out of this hole I'm in financially, but I'll do it. I have to.
