I did the snooping around a bit and found out what was going on behind my back before I confronted my H. I believe that as long as you can handle the information, and it will be tough at times, you should do a bit of snooping so that you know what you are up against. When everything went down between me and my H, he accused me of having affairs too and that so and so said that I did this. However I did not do any of those things and what I had accuse him of, I had hard evidence to back me up(text messages, naked pics texted to my sister, and sex web site profiles) It is hard for the accused to deny or lie when you have some sort of evidence to the contrary. I was accused of snooping too and I admitted that I did snoop to learn what was going on. I then asked him if 'I had not been snooping would you have told me all of this on your own?'. Of course the answer was no. In the end it really boils down to the fact that the one that is having the affair got caught and will try whatever tactic they can to turn it around so that the one who did not stray has done SOMETHING, ANYTHING wrong to make the person with the affair feel better about themselves. This is what happened to me. It is hard at first but you can get through it.
If and when you confront her, listen to the advice from the others. Tell her what you know and that you won't discuss your R until she quits the affair. If she can not quit the affair then you know where you stand.
You sound like a man that is still in love with his wife and wants very badly to get his M back on track. Have you figured out the reasons why she strays? What have you been doing in the way of the DB techniques? Have you started with a councelor of your own? Keep trying as long as you have the hope and the desire to make your M work. If you have doen EVERYTHING that you can do to make it work then you can have a clear head when it comes to your R.
Hope to hear from you soon if you confront the issues tonight. Good Luck to you!!
Me-31 Him-28 D1-9 D2-6 Married 5-06 Seperated 12-07 He filed 1-08 Reconciled 4-08 D dropped 7-08 Bomb dropped about H's activities outside the marriage 4-21-09 Filed for D 4-28-09 Trying to make a go of it 6-09
