BND had described exactly what to expect, but I want to add something else...they are very, very emotionally fragile and will test you over and over again to see if you are true and want them home again. They may even say, "gee, I'm sorry, maybe it would be better if I moved out and stayed with my parents, etc." Do not buy into that. Encourage them to remain and work on things at their pace, not yours.
Expectations of what you think life should be when they return should be completely tossed out the window. Life as you knew it w/your spouse at home is going to very, very different for about 8-18 months. This is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done and your patience is going to wear thin, you will need to learn to bite your tongue and not go off on a tangent when they don't do or say what you think they should. Also, lovemaking may or may not occur for many months and their heart and soul will not be in it for many months. Again, they are very emotionally fragile and you have to understand that you can not expect them to pick up where they left off....that part of your life is gone. You are starting fresh w/a new personality.
I wish all of you who are reconciling the best of luck, for this is the hardest part of the journey.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
