You know what his offer is right now, accept everything and no rehashing. Allow him to come home with no remorse. Let go of the past and act as if everything is hunky dorey......
So knowing this, what now??????
I guess what I am wondering is if we will be having this same exact conversation when #100 rolls around? For me, I don't particularly want to see you still in this place when that time comes."
Sarcasm?...
Ian.. where have you been? I have been making 100 post jokes for a long time now.
Still there are some solid questions there.
Fu*king Guru!!!
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Ohh good. FG repeated the part I didnt get. Still dont get it
Forgiveness!?
Originally Posted By: Kalni
Rejection John? He never tried anything that I refused. I dint have the chance to since he never tried
He did not try because he was not comfortable; you are still holding his feet to the fire. He's not comfortable getting burnt. You have to learn to "think" of him "positively" most (80%) of the time then the feelings may follow. Instead I see you thinking of him positively 1% of the time. How do you get there? See above. (PS. I'm afraid now because my login also starts with 'F' ;-)
I vote you do things like touch him or hold his hand out in public LOL.
If you used to be a couple that had more physical contact, it would be a good reminder. And if you weren't, maybe it's a good change! If nothing else, you can remind him you are there and how soft your skin is!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I'm seeing some movement from H, but it is in a direction opposite of what you were hoping. However, it is movement.
The mere fact he's verbalized his desire to quit the night job - the one that burden's your R the most - is HUGE! Don't let that escape you.
Also, remember he is a man who has allowed himself to be defined BY his work and he'll continue to do that for a while. If he continues his IC, he'll figure out in time that his work doesn't define him, but the fact he places such a tremendous value on it leads to some deeper insecurity. He'll need to flush this out, so it may have to be a priority for him, even if it isn't what you are hoping for.
Finally, concerning the passion, I think you'll need to be bold and make the move, my dear. Hold his hand, look super hot all the time and be as "happy" as possible whenever he's around. Flirt w/him again, like you used to long ago.
The key will need to be your attitude as even the most beautiful creature in the world is grossly unattractive if she's in a constantly bad mood. Attitude and confidence are very, very SEXY!
Points to ponder a bit from this bloke in the desert.
Hi Rob, H said to me on Friday "I think my self worth comes from work and that's why you feel you come second (rightly so he added)". He stopped IC, I asked him.
To me the convo was more negative from his side than mine. He was pretty clear that he cant deal with me at this point and thinks what he could offer in the future is not what I want. His words not mine.
Passion is difficult when the man you are with doesnt want you. K
"To me the convo was more negative from his side than mine. He was pretty clear that he cant deal with me at this point and thinks what he could offer in the future is not what I want. His words not mine."
K, The only way forward is to genuinely accept him "as-is" - with no limited warranty against defects in materials and workmanship.
PS. You are holding out for him to meet some pretty big expectations like passion, alpha-maleness, etc. It seems (at least to my tunnel vision) that he's aware of his "limitations" (realistic) and cannot meet your "demands" (unrealistic). One of you, the one with greater perseverance, the bigger person, has to gain the insight to change the dynamic and break down the barrier. Some important questions asked of you have been swept under the rug - these questions still require a lot of soul searching from you.
