I am trying to empathize from my WAW's POV, something I didn't do over the past few years and that got us here. I think she needs to see me 1) taking her serious, 2) not dragging my feet for my own selfish reasons, and 3) doing something to give her something to trust and feel more protected.
Just a thought, but what you might want to do, esp. as it relates to #2, is to tell her that the EASY, selfish thing for you to do here, considering that she's having an affair, would be to dump her azz. That this is in fact PAINFUL for you to have to work thru this, and fight for her, in the face of her betrayal, but that you think IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
