markhaving probs dropping the rope

[The Wifey]

OUCH! gucci!

Thanks for the help. I would appreciate any other words of advice you could muster in my case.

goingtofixME,

Honey, I have a little softer approach. And OUCH for sure, Gucci. Yes - everything you said about the man her H is was right. BUT - there is a little line that keeps your advice from being less effective than it might be.

2 x 4's can be padded and it isn't right to tell someone what they have to do. Express your opinion all you want, but don't cut the poor woman to the quick. I know you care and that is why you write to her, but there have been so many times I've stayed away from this board because of HOW someone chose to write.

Right now the best thing goingtofixME is to work on you. Let him go. Let him float, spin, bob, weave, do whatever. You and your kids are the important ones right now. Let him face his consequences.

Could something change down the road? Maybe. But you have to be ok no matter what.

The best thing with children is to never say something you don't mean. If you do that one more time you are going to bed, said 5 times, is less effective than once or twice and then a quick trip to bed. Give him his space, don't deliver mail, don't do anything for him right now.

But you and your kids should go ahead and pursue FUN at every turn. There are so many free festivals this time of year. Go to all of them. Rent movies. Do whatever makes you feel good. Don't inform him of all you have going on. Word will either make it back to him or he will see how good you are, even if it is in passing.

He actually had it pretty sweet. And now he doesn't. He will see and you don't have to show him.