confused.....want to do something.....

[pearlharbr]

Look at your conversation again.

Frist, I said I thought we tabled the D issue until you came to see me in June. No Pressure, but if this has changed I just need to know about it.

Really? That sounds like pressure to me.

I said, I don't want a fancy meal, I just want you to talk to me!

More pressure.

He said he is going to have to talk to me no matter what....no escape.

He responds by telling you that he feels pressured and trapped.

all I have asked is that you come talk to me about why you want a D whenever you are ready.

No, you want him to talk about it now. He is obviously not ready and yet you are still pushing him.

I kept trying to end the conversation, he kept it going for 5 min or so more

Remember Yoda, do or do not, there is no try. Simply say I have to go now and hang up.

The fact that he is not fighting or making me feel bad...worries me.

As long as you keep your focus on him and how what he does/says affects you you will not progress. How do I make this any clearer? You must focus on you and you alone right now.

I am going to make that my one goal for the next 2 weeks. Even if I accomplish nothing....I will not initiate any contact with him.

That's a good start. I think it's very important to not initiate contact. I do have my doubts because you couldn't even make it one day. Then when he called this morning you called back in one hour when you previously stated your goal would be to wait three hours.

But what is most important is to work on yourself. I have heard you talk about it but not seen a whole lot of focus and energy put there.

I can only tell you so many times. If you refuse to do the work then self-pity will swallow you up. I know you can do this but you have to make the effort and not just stand there and say it's too hard. If you are not going to help yourself then I cannot help you.