John, Please remember that nothing has changed since she moved out...she has left, she is having an affair, she continues to have an affair...do not make this easy on her...her OM is TDY?
He took leave in conjuction with the TDY to see his wife probably so your W will be on her own...Puppy is correct in that she is trying to normalize her new lifestyle and you and D can take family trips when OM is not avaliable...now she is the Disney Mom and all is good in her mind for you and D.
Did you go see the lawyer? Continue to investigate and collect evidence...you need to figure out who these OM are and expose...do not worry about her getting mad. Your marriage is not going to survive the affair to get to the stage where you divorce because of exposure (she will not D because of exposure, if so she would have already filed, this is an attempt to string you along until the OM commits, and all this talk about the Army is to keep you reeling)...if you expose and she gets in trouble it is her fault...in the long run if you think your marriage is not worth the job then do nothing.
Don't you have family close enough to go see this weekend with just you and your daughter?
You should consider some type of formal plan for custody...your W should not be able to call on a whim to come p/u youd D, she needs structure in her life at her age...make sure your W knows you will not put up with her(D) being exposed to the lifestyle your W is living now to include clothes and personal items in the apartment for your D to see. And no more lies about SS visiting etc...
Puppy is correct in that if she want agree to NC, and MC, with this weekend the beginning of R then this weekend will just make your marriage worse...it is not going to be some romance filled weekend for you. It is going to be a disaster for both and will further justify in her mind that the A was correct...
I am praying that this works for you but am afraid the longer you do nothing the harder this will be for you. Use your tools...exposure, custody, support, lawyer, church, get a live for yourself separate from W, activities for D, etc./\
Try not to get caught up in the false hope for this weekend. Nothing good will come from it right now...this is a bone from her while OM is TDY and not an attempt to at least try to put this marriage back together.
