From bad to worse

[harpo]

well here goes :

"Well yesterday she asked me when I am moving out."
she is tired of working on the marriage all the broken promises.
I have been an inactive father.bad parenting skills my temper, religion ( Catholic )as I, but have issues there.substance abuse
which I have been clean for 6 months also quit smoking a year ago.and of course I did all the wrong things,begging, pleading
blah blah blah

"I have no intention of leaving my kids.I am a stay at home dad and she works I have no income as I am disabled waiting on SSD."

yes I have no where to go I was in a serious car accident a almost 2 yrs ago and at that time it was decided I would stay at home to care for our children and go on disability.I have disc problems which require major surgery which has been in litigation.I have also been diagnosed with clinical depression but have been in therapy for a year now and feel quite well.except for my current sitch but I am holding it together.I found out today the ins co finally fessed up and I can get the surgery.but now I have no one to care for me as I will be in a body cast for a few weeks and she has left with the kids.

"she also has a stressful job (corrections officer) and works midnights."
So.. she is "locked up" with people.. while you are asleep ?
yes and she gets minimal sleep by choice she runs herself raged
kids baseball she plays softball out with friends she is a union rep always on her cell phone. yada yada

I have asked her to go for therapy she wont she does not work on us any more she just wants out.she is like jeckle and hyde sweet
one minute her head spinning the next.she also has had surgery her uterus was removed because of systs so I don't know if its hormonal.she has also had a stint with bells palsy and put on
steroids (which was not good she became very nasty )but that was around end of april.

From your signature I will assume that things.. are not.. that bad... or they are all adopted.

not adopted all our children.if it wasn't that bad I wouldn't be here.I love my wife and children very much I have 4 boys I am very close with a daughter I adore, all who I haven't seen in 4 days but I don't want to push and really screw things up but at this point I don't see much else I can do.it really sucks and her friends and family are pushing her to go through with it.
sorry if I am talking in circles but that's the ride I'm on.
Oh 1 other thing she filed papers 0n Feb 11 I wasn't served until April 23. I talked to a lawyer papers are worthless I have to be served within 30 days but I don't dare tell her.She has currently left the house and will not return calls.I am up s**ts creek no boat.

once again sorry if I am rambling.