Puppy - you are preaching to the choir. I think we all agree she is failing you, and that she doesn't even know it. She does regard her feelings as more important than yours, that is true. Many women do that because men rarely talk about feelings at all, therefore we conclude that feelings are not really important to THEM or they would be making noises about it. Have you shared the above article with your wife? How about starting there?
And when its all said and done, if you and your W end up D'd, then I'm sure you're going to find one of many thousands of women our age who will give you all the sex you want, even if you didn't do everything just right that day, even if you didn't even initiate, even if you forgot to take out the trash....because women our age are ooozing forth with sexual energy just waiting to be tapped.
Your wife is ooozing it, too...she's just immature and has NO EXPERIENCE (how could she?) with practicing and playing with her sexual nature. But if you won't start being open to the idea that she even feels this way, how can SHE be open to it at all?
Again, have you showed her the article above, and if not, why not? She might just have some epiphany.
DQ
DQ,
I haven't shared the articles themselves with her, but we've had many, MANY conversations about a very similar point: that it's bullchit to not try to meet a spouse's needs because "I'm just not good at that, and you knew that when you married me." She has a friend whose husband never gives her flowers, a gift or even a card on Valentine's Day or their anniversary. When she complains to him about it, he tells her "You knew the way I was when you married me," and my wife says that's b.s. -- that you still have to TRY, even tho it may not come naturally to you, and I agreed, and would relate it back to each of US meeting each other's primary LLs. We even talked about that very thing with the MC. My wife agrees, knows it's b.s., knows she does it, and yet still can't sustain NOT doing it.
If I sent her the articles now, it would violate the "no expectations/no pressure" agreement we have, and besides, it's not my job to teach her. A man can't teach a woman how to explore her own sexuality; she has to take the accountability for that HERSELF, and want to do so, don't you think?.
