I suppose the difficult thing is going back again and again and finding the same reaction from your W. But then again - maybe the cycle continues and you can really only control your part in the dance.
I know how soul-draining it is to try and effect change on someone who isn't putting in much effort. The fact you have continued thus far is a testament to your tenacity or you are a glutton for punishment.
If it is something worth doing however, it generally isn't easy.
I'm willing to do the work, but in the last few years I've begun to question even the whole underlying premise of "One person can affect change in another by changing themselves." It's the basic underlying assumption of MWD's "Sex-Starved Marriage," and of most self-help and marital help advice and books, and yet I just don't see the success stories. The only successes I see -- and even then they're DAMNED hard to pull off -- are when BOTH partners are equally committed to change, and to do the hard work necessary.
