Need advice - strange request from H !

[The Wifey]

Thanks for your responses. What do I want? Well, I want my husband and my marriage back. But I do know that he's been cake eating and it bothers me. On the other hand, I don't know if seeing him on the anniversary will benefit our relationship or not. It's impossible to know what is going on in his head right now. I know that he and the OW hit a rough patch, but I think they've ironed it out. The reality is that they barely know one another and he is running. Sober for 8 years and active in AA, but my therapist sees this as a type of relapse.

Anyway, I'm so confused. Just don't know how to act anymore. I'm afraid to go dark (or at least dim) but that's what might be needed now.

Do not be afraid. Start listening to that little voice that wants your H and M. If that is what you want then every action, every conversation, every decision you make should be based on that.

Personally, as a W that has a H with E.D. and that is totally freaked out about it - I would take a slice of cake, thank you. Could you be that woman that is so different and unique, that he has a connection to, that makes the OW look the way you see her?

No man wants the needy type of woman that needs a man, even her husband, to complete her. GAL is about making you feel good and also making you stand out. You are different, you are unique, there is only one you. Can he see that? Can you?

I know the pain, honey. Believe me, even on my strongest days I sometimes have to get the tissues. But the more I stand on my own, and the more I use his tools (Tee-hee, he always got nervous if I touched his tools. He left them all here and believe me he notices that I am not only using them, they are more organized when they were just his) and the more I do, the more he is looking and wondering.

You want a man to see you as confident, strong, independent, pretty, sexy, someone nice to talk to and be around. You want him back, really? Then that is what you have to work on.

You do this not as a strategy to get him back, but so you grow. You really will be stronger, more confident, and it will be obvious to him that you don't need him, but that you want him. The wanting part doesn't need to be so obvious at first.

My H is totally mystified by the woman I am becoming. The more I step away the more he comes around.

Regardless of what you H has said, no matter the OW, you have a history. He fell in love with you once. Smile, act as if, pray, GAL and it really will make a difference. Be patient, it doesn't happen over night. However, the rest of your life contains many more days, weeks, months, and years than the time it will take.

I love my h and I have complete faith he will come home. God knows the road map, he just doesn't share it with us.