Agreed - focus on yourself. You are going to get Sh*t for that too (I do) but at least you are doing it for you.
My W complains that I am not funny and that therefore we don't have humor in our R. "That's strange" I think, because I laugh a lot when I am with other people. So does she with her friends, but If I try to joke around with her, she squashes it like a wet blanket.
Just an example - whatever you change, the WAS is going to interpret it as a fake attempt to influence them, so just make sure you are doing it for you, and then take the heat and stay strong with it.
Easier said than done, I know.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
