H just moved out, 13 months post-bomb

[Dawn of Hope]

Renee,
Thank you for reminding me that it's not me, it's him. Thank you also for praying for me. I will gladly take all of the prayers I can get. And thank you for reminding me to let God fight the battle for me. I know all of that already, but I keep backsliding on formalized devotional plans.

I just get kinda sick of wondering why I find it so difficult to change the things I know perfectly well I need to change. For example, I am late to almost everything, and have been for years and years. This is not rocket science, and I really don't enjoy being late; why can't I fix this? It's not like anyone is preventing me from leaving the house on time or anything. Why do I sabotage myself? Why do I have so very much trouble starting projects, especially starting them early? I mean, what the heck is wrong with me??

Believe me, I am not knocking ADs; they have saved my life repeatedly. I would just like to find some effective non-drug way of dealing with my depression, especially since I have no medical insurance right now. I am doing okay for the moment with the depression, but I could be a whole lot better.

Man, I'm tired. Just once, it would be nice to wave a magic wand and have the nightmare be over...

Peace,
Dawn