WAW1 - Anticipation

[PositivelyMommy]

Mark, I told you before remember? She will always see what else is lacking. Remember, I told you that? I said, don't worry about it, keep on keeping on. You are doing much much better than before. Be your own cheerleader!

I am the same way with my H, I see what he is lacking in his pareting and he is NOWHERE, I mean NOWHERE near as good as you. But HE thinks he's the cat's meow as a dad now. Do I contradict him? Nope! I applaud him because if I applaud him the he will keep trying. If I nag him, he will give up. That is human nature. But I do see all the gaps and holes in his parenting. Why? Because I am an EXPERT on my kids. Now, your W also thinks she is an EXPERT on your kids. You have to give her that, she has been doing the majority of the parenting for years now.

So, of course she will see what you are not doing.

Now add to the mix that she thinks you are not giving her enough space to pursue her own life and you have an explosive mix.

In her mind, you are WAY BEHIND in your parenting hours. Maybe she has put in 10,000 pareting hours and you have put in 500. You see, that may be how she sees it. So she may think you OWE her some time. Especially since she sees that 'you have nothing else better to do.' She works and takes care of the kids. She sees you relaxing, having a good time with the kids, no job, no responsibilities. And NOW, maybe even a new relationship, MORE FUN.

She is pissed. So here we are. This is all assumption, mind you, not based on your W, just my imagination.

So if you proclaim that you are a good dad, then you won't win the argument. Don't even go there. Just do the best you can, know that you are improving everyday, enjoying your children. Don't let her negative comments get you down.

She needs to deal with her own biases and issues on her own. She is probably jealous of your 'freedom', warped thinking. Don't worry so much about her.