You and W have been in a pattern for YEARS. She complains, you get sucked into an argument. You raise to the challenge and all he*l breaks loose.
What you have done now is to change the pattern.
SHE DOES NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT. Why? It's different, not the same pattern. People like to stick to routines even if the routines are unhealthy (think fast food).
So now you have grown, you see the argument coming. You refuse to engage. Great!
Now, follow Puppy's advice, not only do you not engage in the argument but try to nip it in the bud because it's not doing you any good. Look, she MIGHT be jealous and she probably does care who you go out with. But you know what, that doesn't guarantee she will come back. Soemtimes people just don't want other people to have what they don't want themselves. It's stupid I know.
You wanted to make her jealous. Now she is suspicious and jealous. OK. Now what? Now she is angry at you for moving on with your 'new life'. You can hope that she is looking at you differently and I hope for your sake she does reconsider. But if it doesn't work, you will need to be mentally prepared as well.
So refuse to be yelled at. Just excuse yourself and say something like, I will be happy to talk with you and listen to your point of view when you have calmed down. Or I need to calm down, we can talk when you stop screaming at me. That is taking power back from her. That is standing up for yourself without fighting her.
Remember, her actions show that she is a unhappy woman. That is a GOOD thing. If she realizes that she is unhappy then maybe she will realize that she doesn't have ALL the answers.
Keep your cool.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
