The gathering of good intel ("snooping") has its place, in my opinion. It can be valuable when:
a) trying to determine initially what you're dealing with -- an affair, a MLC, or just an unhappy spouse?
b) trying to confirm "no contact" once it's been agreed to by both parties are part of a reconciliation;
c) trying to gather evidence for a legal proceeding if you are in a "fault" state and your marriage doesn't look like it's going to make it.
Beyond that, it will only drive you batty.
I think you already know what you're dealing with here, and you should tell your wife that you know. Do NOT, under any circumstances, tell her HOW you know -- never reveal the source(s) of your intel. If she asks you how you know, just tell her that you do, and that it needs to stop -- that you won't live in an open marriage.
To answer your question, yes, this view is in what I would estimate to be about a 35/65 or 40/60 minority around here. It depends on whether or not, emotionally, you think you can handle the truth, but I would much rather be DEALING with the truth, than left to trying to guess based on a wayward spouse's erratic behavior.
