Is my sitch WAS or MLC?

[Dawn of Hope]

Innis,
Don't initiate any discussions about your R, but when he does, listen and nod. Validate when you can (it is not the same as agreeing with his opinion; it might be something like "I can see why that would upset you"). Always apologize if you feel he has a valid criticism about something you have done. DO NOT criticize him. Do not say anything to him _at all_ about OW. If you find it absolutely necessary to disagree with him, do so in a way that doesn't make him feel attacked--that's when you need to make it about you rather than about him, so it comes off as just your little quirk that you feel that way about whatever it is, rather than that he's so wrong.

Try not to over-analyze what he says; reread your own post and you will see that he keeps flip-flopping, so listen, but don't get attached to what he says, either positive or negative. In MLC, both their words and their actions are EXTREMELY suspect, so give them as little weight as possible. Think of what he says as sounding like the teachers in the "Charlie Brown" cartoons...wah wahwah wah wahwah. Look for long-term trends, not this back-and-forth nonsense that some MLCers seem so attached to.

Some people find it helpful to think of their MLCers as being mentally ill, and therefore not in their right minds, and not able to effectively process all of the emotional goop. Sorta like being bipolar.

Hope that helps...

Peace,
Dawn