wow SP awesome post thanks for the input, now everytime this gets hard i can think about turning pro!!!
The pro, Pressfield says, "is an infantryman. He knows that progress is measured in yards of dirt extracted...one day, one hour, one minute at a time and paid for in blood."
I agree with this statement to the T......im willing to put in the hard work........what books does Pressfield write id like to read a little bit more of what he has to say.
The thing about NC is that it is a HUGE 180 for me ive always been the pursuer in this relationship.
Like you were saying about the Validation for LBS, im really not to into it, it just really seems fake to me when my parents or friends are saying "your better off without her, or it will get better day by day, all that just seems really fake to me. Ive never been a person who needed validation before, not for a job well done or for a good play or even for a mistake ive made so why now? I know these people are trying to be helpful in there own way but for me it just all seems fake.
Well its been a few days since i posted, basically its all still the same my W is taking me for a ride on the roller coaster some days she is flying high and is nice and polite, the next its like she sprouted horns.
She has been contacting me, i have not been contacting her, im trying to go mysterious on her, but its pretty hard, im a pretty simple guy.
But she pissed me off pretty good on thurs. I am a MasterTech at a Chrysler/Jeep/Dodge dealer and a year ago the dealership i was at for 5.5yrs closed, and on thurs. due to bankruptcy Chrysler shut down 789 dealers nationwide, mine was not one of them but very scary and sad to know that all those peoples lives just got torn apart so some bigwig ceo could get a $1Mill. bonus last year. But she text me when i was at work about this stuff and i told her that we had a meeting and luckily we were not shutting down but that i believe Chrys. can basically pull the franchise anytime due to being in bankruptcy. and I told her that this has been a very bad 2 years for me and that im just waiting for the upswing, because i know that before it gets better it always gets worse. and what did she reply........."Dont worry I am still here as your best friend to help u and talk to u"........
Nice thanks honey, i can really tell your here for me since ive been alone for the past 11 mos. waiting for u to come back home in a state 450 miles away from my closest family or friend while you are back home with your best friend, your family, god daughter, and when there is 2 mos left before you come back home to us your family, you abandon us and say you dont love me you just want to be BEST FRIENDS!!!!! Wow thanks for being there for me......(this is my what my heart was telling my brain to spew all over her...but i didnt allow it......small step to becoming a PRO!!)
I know that i should consider myself lucky to still have verbal contact with her I know that some of you would love to even have that but that comment just flipped a switch for me, so the only comment i made in return to her statement was " Yeah thanks alot for being there for me"......."I gotta go get back to work...Later" and i havent talked to her since, NC since thursday at 10am, she has sent me 2 IM's and i havent responded i just dont really know what to say...Im pretty pissed at her and dont want to ruin things.
Dont get me wrong I love my W with everything that I have inside of me, I just feel like she threw me away like a dirty piece of toilet paper and flushed 13yrs right down the toilet. And while Im trying to save this R its like she is forcing herself to get over me.
Im teetering on acting as if, or just totally laying into her and setting some boundries because that would be a huge, THE HUGEST 180 for me, my DB coach even commented that it sounds like this woman castrated me before i was even 18yrs old.
What do you think take my nutts back or act as if......if i take back my nutts it will be a heated argument my W is very confrontational and has a very low tolerance for criticism so she will get defensive if she even senses me taking a stand.
I am not saying this to sound like some tough guy or something but my wife is truly the only person i have ever taken sh*t from, im one of those say exactly what is on my mind at anytime to anybody kind of guys, i dont kiss ass and i dont agree with some jackass just to get ahead in life, i have always stood for what i belive in even if that meant i was standing alone with 1 foot on a banana peel overlooking a deep deep hole and i think that is one of the things that attracted her to me when we were kids, but its funny i have always prided myself on treating her good and not calling her names while basically letting her walk all over me and now it just kinda feels like Im bending over backwards just to make it easier for her to sh*t on me.
Trying to go Pro here but damn, i keep ?ing what exactly would a Pro do in my sitch....LOL!!! i feel different i feel more empowered since the NC she always responds and contacts me but at the same time i keep telling myself "The pro, is an infantryman. He knows that progress is measured in yards of dirt extracted...one day, one hour, one minute at a time and paid for in blood."
Done rambling gotta go to bed big day of GALing some big bass tommorow rivers open so that means i will be gone and the cell phone will be shut off........dont call and dont bother asking where i am...lol!!! Check the garage if the boats gone you know where to find me.......
So we have to turn pro. And a pro, Pressfield says, is a person prepared to confront his own self-sabotage.
SP re-read your post......this popped out at me like a f*cking A-Bomb exploding all over my monitor.....
thanks again for that post i really feel alot different each time i read it POWERFUL words......empowering to read wont forget it. Thanks again.........
well the NC was broken today by W, she called me and wanted to talk while i was making dinner......yeah didnt really go to well she said some pretty painful things to me.....mostly the usual like why cant you get over me and realize it is over, you will never have a chance with me again, but the one that really hurt the most and i stayed strong thru all the other things but i will admit i did break down when she told me that "it was harder for her to leave our dogs, than it was for her to leave me".....
before the last statement i was really just validating what she was saying and letting her vent what she felt needed to be said. But after she said that i broke down and she just kept going so finally i just told her that even though it doesnt sound like it that i am doing good, and that she needs to do what will make her happy, that i had to go.
She told me that the easy thing would be to go back to me because i am such a great guy, blah blah blah, but she doesnt love me so she doesnt want that. But that she wants to be BEST FRIENDS.... to which i responded that eventually we will move on and how can i be best friends with her knowing and see her with somebody else...to which she replied well then we dont have to be friends....i told her the choice was hers. And she said that i am a great best friend so why would she want to throw that away.
Of course after every statement she made, she ended it with I am not trying to be mean or hurt you by what i am saying.......so atleast she said that because that makes it all better.
