Hey. I so agree about the kids being the hardest part. I feel EXACTLY the same way...if he could just see that this is only the beginning of their pain...and they don't even know it yet. It is so sad. Anyway, I read so many of your posts...you are right about this being addicting. you take the words right out of my mouth on so many subjects. Mother's Day was one of my hardest days so far...I had to drop my kids off at his parents and leave. they were having a huge party...and it was the first time I felt excluded from the family. They would have loved me to stay but i couldn't with him there. He wants to get some furniture out of our place this week. I don't think I can handle that in a good DB manner. Another thing that drives me crazy is that my husband has a big truck with a really loud exhaust. EVERYtime I hear the exhaust on any car I think of him, and get the sickest feeling...I also wake up sometimes thinking this is all just a nightmare...and then reality sets in...I am having so much trouble with crying. I can't seem to stop. I also can't stop thinking about him finding someone else and thinking of me as his "practice" wife. And have him treat someone else the way he should treat me...and them living happily ever after with my kids...my family. This is ridiculous and pointless I know. It is so hard not to think about. And the lonliness is unbearable. Ugh! I too feel like it is easier to see the truth when you look into someone else's sitch. then give advice. but when it comes to pepping myself up...I am miserable! Anyway, just babbling I guess and sorry this is so negative. but i will continue to follow your posts...I hope you don't mind. it is alot easier to read someone else's story that write out my own! And you are inspirational to boot! Thanks... N
