The concert should be fun. I'm not sure how D will take to it, but if she enjoys it, we'll have a blast!
Today was D's Kindergarten graduation and I met XW there and we sat together. She is very pleasant (even w/my giving her my pension figures and asking for hers this past week) and D invited her to lunch w/us afterward.
We went to sushi and at the end, XW paid, even though we'd invited her to join us. I said "why are you paying? We invited you?" and she said "that is why I'm paying." So, I thanked her and overall the lunch was nice.
When we were leaving, XW started to cry and after D was in the car, she looked at me and said "are you ok?" I was and answered "I'm fine." I thanked her again for lunch we left. She was crying harder as she walked away.
So, it is nice we can hang out and be civil and I'm guessing she's starting to have her regrets creep into her thoughts. It is unfortunate, but it is also in the past.
My future is moving forward, not looking backward.
Ultimately, maybe this will allow us to have a good relationship w/each other over D as we still have another 12 years plus college to get through...then the wedding...then the grandkids...etc. It isn't over w/her by a long shot, I'm afraid, so I hope we can get along.
Gotta go. It's 101 here and I'm off to take the new graduate to the pool.
My only guess is the tears are a bit of guilt on her part. She won't be one to ask to come back, try again, or whatever, but I can tell that ever since she told me she's got a new therapist and she said "I've been working through a lot of things and I'm not angry w/you anymore" it has been pretty clear in her words and actions that she's working on the REAL source of her discontent. These issues have been buried deep inside her for so long that instead of working on them, she turned on me and ended our marriage.
Our converstations have been very good and her tone has been wonderful since that time. We've even settled the pensions and even though I'm not getting too much, she isn't ticked off about it.
She's changed a lot and I'm so glad her therapist is challenging her this time and she's being open to the challenging.
As far as her wanting to come back, it is an impossibility and I'm not wanting that anyway. I'm happy to see our relationship begin to move in its current direction and can only hope that it continues to stay like this.
By the way, I think she's on to "sleep over buddy" #3 as she answered the phone when I called and she told me about D's night and mentioned they stayed up late making jewelry for her, D and man #3.
This is another professor at school who has been interested in her for a while, but she was never attracted to him. However, now that she's alone again, it looks like he may at least get a few swings in the batter's box.
For my XW, I really hope her continued therapy can get her to understand that she can be ok on her own. That would make everything so much better for us all.
Hey I am not trying to burst your bubble here, perhaps she was crying because her baby just graduated! I get emotional about that stuff. The next two years will be hard with 2 graduations each year: S13 and D10 next year from grade school and middle school and the following year D8 and S16 with grade school and high school. Guess which one will be the hardest weekend.
Just getting along is a great goal and I am sure you will able to obtain it.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I ruled that out as a reason for her tears based on how she acted during lunch. She got emotional at the end of lunch seeing us function together as a unit again.
She'd already shed her tears for the graduation of D, but you could very well be correct.
I'm hoping we can achieve my goal of co-existing peacefully. So far, so good, but I'm not holding my breath.
This is another professor at school who has been interested in her for a while, but she was never attracted to him. However, now that she's alone again, it looks like he may at least get a few swings in the batter's box.
You almost want to warn the poor guy. If she is not that attracted to him, she will drop him faster than a sack of soggy potatos when they have their first argument.
I assume that everything is still steady sailing with the new lucky lady.
The "date" and I are doing well. We haven't really had much of a chance to actually date b/c both of our custody schedules have been screwy in the past few days, but we've spent a good deal of time just hanging out after her little guy has gone down.
We did manage to have some unexpected time free and went out on Saturday and had a lot of fun. We really do like each other, but are going slow. She's extra cautious right now and keeps saying "as long as you don't change, things w/us are going to be great."
I keep telling her I am who I am and she's starting to figure that out and let down her guard a bit. I'm being cautious as well as I don't need another headache, but so far, it is going well.
The good news is she moves into her new place this weekend and that alone will alleviate a lot of stress for her and help us have more time to get better acquainted w/one another. Our schedules are also less hectic after this weekend, so I'm looking forward to being able to spend some good time w/her in the very near future.
Overall, I know she really likes me and I really like her, so we'll see what happens next.
I know exactly what you are saying. I'd LOVE to warn this guy, but I just can't. I feel sorry for him already, but for XW, he's safe and convenient, so he'll serve his purpose and since he's been attracted to her for a while, he'll probably get laid a lot in the short run.
Who knows? Maybe they'll hit it off and be a permanent thing. I doubt it, but you just never do know.
So, not much to report on my front, except for the fact that we've gone through graduation and started finals today.
I just finished up grading three classes of essays and have two more to do this week, then I'll be finished w/grading. I will have to do the usual room clean-up before leaving, but this year I also have to do some curricular planning prior to break, so I may be here a tiny bit into June. Maybe not, but if so, oh, well.
Things are going well for me and the lady I'm seeing. She moves into her new place this weekend, so that will alleviate a lot of her stress and free us up to spend some more time together.
So far, things are good and we'll just look to ride it out and see what happens.
XW is being ok as well. Very chatty and friendly on the phone when I call for D. XW is usually the one who wants to talk w/me and I have to get her to get my D on the line. I guess it could be worse, right? Her being chatty is better than her being a bitch!
Anyway, that is it for me as of now. As usual, when/if things change, I'll let you know.
