NO! By appearing to chase and beg for crumbs you are working against what you want. You push the guilt and he'll push you away even further. He knows what he has done, that's enough. As you said, he needs to grow up and only HE can make that happen. You need to look after you right now. Anger and revenge fantasies are quite normal for where you're at so recognize that and then let it go. Get back to nurturing you, don't let him control another minute of your life! Easier said than done, don't I know it!
