WHY STAY? from Michele

[Travis]

Karen,
Thank you so much for your reply. I keep telling myself I'm not the only one going through this. It's just so unbelievable to me right now. My mom was my wife's best friend. I always joked to my wife, although I think I actually meant it, that everyone loved her more than they loved me. Karen, I'm not going to sit her and say I was the greatest husband ever. I'm too much like my father. When things blow up, or I get mad, I didn't speak for a couple of days. Not right, I know now more than ever, but that is who I was. The hardest part for me is that I changed so much as a person in January. I had to. I wasn't happy with who I was and I couldn't expect my wife to be, either. Her first phone call to her new boyfriend (as far as my phone records show) was the 25th of February. I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, but I really cannot believe this is going on. If she would have left me last year, I would have realized, but why now? I'm am in such a better place in my life now and am such a better person. I'm the husband she deserved. That's where my problem is in dealing with this. I changed before she left, not after. Maybe she detached before and I just didn't realize it, but I'm a very rational person and I don't believe so. I thank you for your reply and I wish I would have found this site before the @#$% hit the fan and maybe I wouldn't be here. I just cannot believe this is happening like it is. I will deal and will be better in the long run, but it's just hard to imagine that right now.