Congratulations Kevin. You are totally clear and owning your feelings. I know it sucks, it sucks for all of us. I think this is huge for you to just be "angry." Try not to pout or whine about it. Be angry. Write about it. I like to write the most vile horrible honest letters to H and then throw them out. I like writing poetry too but that's just me.
I know it sounds sexist but anger is kind of manly and you seem to have really suppressed so much male energy for so long. Can you find some constructive outlets? (punching bag etc). You can cultivate that energy into strength and I don't mean becoming a bitter a**hole, I mean feeling empowered. I think you are on your way.
Don't be afraid of your anger anymore. She's gone. You've lived through that. You have a right to your feelings.
Of course, you have to manage those feelings and protect your kids. But when you are alone, work it out.
