PM Thread #5 - Hope new plan works

[PositivelyMommy]

it is much easier for them to blame us than for them to admit they messed up. if they admit they messed up, they may actually feel guilty - and they dont want to feel that...

one year ago this weekend, we were on the worst terms ever in our history. i never would have thought things would be ok.

one year later, h is home. is it perfect or even great? no.

but he is home.

so dont give up, if u arent ready to.

Thanks mdoodles. I know my H doesn't want to feel guilty. In fact, he is so adverse to it that he has himself convinced that he is not guilty.

My work now is to be OK with this. I need to detach more. It is not my job to make him feel guilty and make him see the light. Otherwise I would just be banging my head against the wall.

However, he won't reconsider if he doesn't feel that something is missing.


My BFF said that he doesn't feel loss now. That is why he does not have regrets. It makes sense. He gets the best of both worlds. A single life and parenting only when he feels like it. The Disneyland Dad syndrome.

So, I think moving away will instigate this sense of loss. Maybe he will be OK with this sense of loss. I don't know. Probably he will try to fabricate reasons in his mind to keep blaming me for his loss. Not my problem.