"Kids asked him why he is spending money when he says he has none."
Wow and they are 4, 14 and 17? Thats quite a question at that age. There is no way I would have said that, or challenged my parents, or even been aware of their financial sitch, or of finances in general at 4 or 14 and at 17, I couldnt care a less what they were up to, I was too busy being a teenager. How come they aks these things of their father?
I still thikn you should stop looking at him as SO deluded/ill/mental/whatever. My ex has behaved badly and had bonafide depression for 2 years, but as my C said, even depressed people, like my ex are capable of making choices for themselves and of functioning and actually living a life.
I wonder if he doesnt pick up on your disapproval, or pity.. can you have a bit more of a positive attitude toward him? Yes he's acting out, but he is also getting on with his life and doing what HE wants to do for now. His life hasnt totally gone down the tubes.. he does still see his kids at least and holds down a job. Can you try and view him as a friend, in that, would you heap such disbelief, dissaproval and "tut tut" on a friend? I'm not saying you convey that to him, but he may detect it in you.
If my ex lost his job THEN I would have been worried, that was the barometer for me.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
