sgctxok, I can't help but wonder what, if anything, prompted you to start this thread? While I certainly agree that we should proceed with caution whenever starting a new relationship, I think that is true for any and all new relationships, not just those that may start here on the DB boards.
While it's true that not all relationships that have formed here on the boards have had a happy ending....there are some that have. I am truly sorry for those that did not end well. But, I for one feel blessed and thrilled with the way my situation turned out.
I am not at all trying to encourage fellow DB'ers to begin a relationship with one another. However, I think that should they find themselves in a possible relationship, they should proceed slowly and carefully.
Well, I will say this. Life happens. Sometimes the decisions we make end up hurting us, sometimes they do not. Starting relationships on the board is an issue that will probably always be debated because we are throwing people of the opposite sex together than have been traumatized and are feeling awfully alone.
To me, there is a time and place for everything. There is a reason that AA tells its newcomers not to be in relationships for a year. The reason is because you need time for personal growth and heeling. So maybe it's an issue of timing.
I know Bill and Deb, I have been very supportive over time of them because IMHO they did it the right way. There was a level of DB maturity used that made sense. I have also witnessed failures though gang, and what I will say is that they hurt. Hell, I have gotten close with someone on the boards, do I regret it, nope, I have a woman who I consider to be a great friend who has my best interest at heart always. She also has me as a friend who will be honest with her and there for her whatever she needs.
It takes maturity though folks. Let me shoot this out there as simple as I can. If you look in the mirror and have any thoughts at all or what so ever about reconciling your marriage, then stop any contact with a member of the opposite sex. Not just on the boards though, anywhere in your life. That is one thing that sickens me, if you are still emotionally involved with your spouse, how dare you be willing to hurt another person by starting something you know damn well you cannot finish. That is no better than what our spouses did to us. If you have reached that spot however where you know that your spouse is no longer an option for you in any way, then do what you need to do and go ahead with a clear conscious.
