Hi girls! Julia, thankyou! What did you mean about emotional temperature taking? And yes Naej, I know how lucky I am! And yes, more patience hey, good god. K.. so I really am doing good? God I nearly phoned you today for a pep talk !! I thikn I am doing a little better actually (but hey its only been 4 days!!!!).

I sat in the cinema tonight and unlike last night, he took my hand for most of the film.. and I am looking down at that hand in mine (such a small thing, but it was the one thing I yearned for).. these two hands and its symbolic. You're not with her anymore, your with ME, holding MY hand..and SMILED alot in the dark.

Neaj.. as K says, he has turned a corner, but he's not good at being up front, so his friends think we are back together, but they are not rushing him. He phoned them to arrange tonight (this is costing me a fortune!!) I'm so grateful for their help so far and now, helping us through this awkward 'adjustment' period.

I felt all along, in terms of DBing, the wider circle of friends and family and the ex's are crucial to helping the cause. For me anyway, it has been massively instrumental in getting here.

So tonight we met them for dinner and a film and it was WAY more relaxed, as we werent left alone. He offered me his arm as we walked and TOLD ME I LOOKED NICE! First time since the day he left.

I knew he wanted to go home, so smiled and got out the car quick, but he said all earnest for me to drive safe and be careful (its raining, natch). My Mum said, my god, 18 months apart, all those nights on your own and he didnt even ring for a 3 month stretch and NOW he's worried about you on a 15 minute drive home!?

BUT.. I was a little perturbed he only gave me a peck good bye, on the lips.. shouldnt there be more passion at this stage!? If this is like a new R!? Do I need to spice it up around him !? I tried to think of little things I could do, I brushed his bum with my hand a bit and when he said I looked nice, I grabbed his face and kissed him lightly and he looked quite pleased with that, but he isnt really like that with me and I dont know why not, but I didnt overdo it. Or am I underdoing it?? I need to call Jody for advice.. QUICK!