WAW1 - Anticipation

[markhaving probs]

My wife has just picked the children up. I was wondering whether she was going to mention the fact I cut her short during our telephone conversation yesterday but she didn't. I always feel nervous now when I see her, it feels like a first date nervousness (I so wish it was a first date situation).

I was breezy and upbeat, tried to be confident, we had a conversation about the film she has just been to see, I looked her right in the eyes during the time she was speaking. I also wrote on a piece of paper a telephone number I had made up in different handwriting to mine and left it on the coffee table by the door but half hidden. It might sound pathetic but I thought it was something I would do, trouble it I am not so sure she saw it but I did put the childrens bags around the coffee table so she may have done.

To mix it up a bit I decided to tell her I could not have the children over night next Wednesday as I had a 'do' to go to. I want to watch the Champions League final at the pub with some mates. She came out with the same script about me saying I want to see the children as often as I can and then making arrangements to go out. I told her I never arranged the event as she wanted to know what I was doing, I did not offer any information (mystery). She then went on to say "well you can have them on another night, how about one of your circuits nights".

She was trying to get me going with that comment but I ignored it and said I would see what I can do as it is half term week. I will offer another night, and it will be on a circuits night, but I do not want it to look like I am doing this because she suggested it. If I do another night do I look as though I have 'given in', it could be looked at as a 180 for cancelling circuits, or do I front her up and say no I cannot do any night next week. I have created this sitch by not suggesting another night to start with puttnig me in control.

While I am writing this though, I should have suggested Tuesday night which is one of my gym nights before she mentioned it. Why, why, is it so easy to think what I should have said after the event has happened. I must write things down before I come out with a statement like that. I will text her tomorrow and tell her I have juggled things around to be able to have them on another night, this way I am controlling the situation I should not have put myself in. I am learning....slowly!

She also mentioned (again) about seeing the lawyer on Wedneesday about final settlement. I don't know why she keeps mentioning it other than to try and see if I say something or look dis-heartened, I didn't on either count.