Over the Shock - Detaching and GALing 3

[Thinker]

Still musing and journaling:

Why is it that I want transparency in our R?

The easy answer is that I believe that there is no place for secrecy in an R.

But is that so?

Or is it really that I am confusing this with my own need for control? If the real purpose is that I want to use transparency to control my W, then there is no place for this, and it is I that need to change.

I'm thinking that it is the latter.

I want the transparency because I do not trust.
I need to trust because I am not detached. I am "fused". If she leaves, she takes part of me with her.

If I were truly detached, truly "differentiated", then I would have no need for the transparency. I could simply let go.