we`d an invite to a communion party for yesterday evening. Told H about it on Tuesday-he didn`t respond one way or the other then. He was gone yesterday evening but, on my way to the party, I met him on the road. I pulled in and rang him(hadn`t done that in a while) and asked him if he wanted to go that I could turn back and collect him or he could come later if he wanted to go, watever. Let him know I didn`t mind whether he came or not.
He dithered, as he does. I said Look I`ll go anyway and tell them you might be there later. He said No don`t say that and just hung up.
Whatever.
I went and me and the kids were in full swing enjoying ourselves when H turned up two hours later. I was glad he came. I think he realised from the previous week that I am enjoying myself socially with or without him and that he may as well get out there too.
But no sign of R. He`s still silent and sullen. Trying to upset me. Not going to Mass today with us for instance. Doing absolutely nothing around the house.Not going to our DD`s birthday party yesterday-leaving me to do it all for two hours then turning up at the last 20 minutes when the parents came to collect.
I`m smiling on. Maybe I should be setting boundaries?
This morning I didn`t start making lunch-did the ironing instead. H was stomping around the place getting annoyed with the kids as he had to take them to an athletic event this afternoon. I was wading through a pile of ironing and that, along with PMT, left me feeling angry too so I stopped after an hour of it put away the ironing basket, wished them all a good afternoon and baled out.
Getting out in the air, cleared my head and has helped restore some perspective. I`m split I know between wanting an amicalbe separation or wanting to stay M and learning to love H again. So maybe that split in me is stopping me from giving him a fair chance.
I don`t know whether I should set boundaries or not. I don`t know whether I should ignore the fact that he`s leaving all the housework to me f`rinstance. yes, I have asked him to do certain things but should I ask him to do all he should be doing?
And I am having a great time in every other way. I`m sleeping, resting, indulging my hobbies, meeting friends, enjoying work.I think he hates that I`m doing ok now and that it makes him jealous and angry. Is the sight of me laughing with friends just really rubbing his nose in it? Should I wait to have fun with the kids when he`s not around?
