Hey, Travis, glad you found your way here. I think most of us, I certainly, did the begging, pleading, and I followed him around like a lost puppy until I found this site. We all did that; so please don't feel bad about that.
You ask why you love someone that has hurt you and your family. I've always wondered how our WAS could stop loving us. I don't get that. You love someone for 10 or 20 years and then just don't. I've gradually been losing love and detaching for my H, but it's been a long gradual process.
Well, I don't think you have to worry at this point about whether she will or won't come back and what you will do. You can decide that later. Now you should focus on you and your boys (sounds like they will need a good role model in you more than ever). Also, if you make up your own thread, rather than add on to this one or someone else's people here will post on your sitch and give advice, ask ?, or whatever. This site has been a lifeline to me esp. in the first year of this. I'm actually a lot happier than I've been in a long time. I've learned a lot, grown, gotten stronger, more self confident. A lot of good can come from this if you like. Karen
