Newly separated...spouse left, 4th thread

[antlers]

This is a hard way to live. Nothing happens. Limbo. All of the negative emotions continue though...like pain, disappointment, remorse, etc.. I often feel like I'm spinning my wheels, even though I'm working on me. I've lost 85 pounds, I'm doing better with the kids, I exercise regularly, I'm getting out some, I'm learning, etc..

It would be easy just to quit. Just give up. And move on. But I still believe it's worth the effort. Am I wrong? She has quit the marriage. Why do I remain hopeful and committed?

After she made her decision to leave, I begged and pleaded and argued the case with her that our marriage was worth it and tried to get her to reconsider. It continued downhill. Things are so bad...it would be easy to give up.

Then I think maybe that's how she felt before she left the marriage. She tried for years to get me to see things differently and do things differently...and then finally, since I didn't...she concluded that it wasn't worth it anymore and she left and quit the marriage.

This is an awful way to live. The rejection is devestating.

Sometimes I wonder if continuing with this is the right thing to do. We loved each other enough that we committed to spending our lives together.

Now that's changed. Am I being smart and strong by doing what I'm doing...instead of just quitting? Is it worth the effort?

I still feel like it is. Am I wrong?


I'm lonesome.