Yes I think you are all right, I have tried my best to fix the stuff on my own and don't know anyone around here to ask for help. It would be a huge 180 for me so I will go for it. But the main problem is that he set it all up and set all the passwords etc so I don't know them and keep having to ask. I really want a new laptop of my own tho so I think I am going to get one and then I won't have this problem anymore. I feel like the computer here is 'his' eventho it is/was 'ours' I feel like all of 'our stuff' is 'his' I don't know why. I need to stop thinking that way. I've been here all this time too so its just as much mine and I never felt that way til he left.
Last night I had a good time. It felt weird to be out again, the girls were all really nice and we got along good. I will try and do more of this for sure.
Having mixed feelings this morning. Keep thinking about H, sad but I'm not upset/crying. I just hope & pray I will get the chance to try again on our R bc there are so many things I've realized in this time and that I want to do. I think things would be different if H was still in the same house, its really hard to improve anything when there is nothing there. But I can keep working on me, I just hope its not too late for us.
Ok so gonna try and get busy for the day eventho its a late start. I have lots of cleaning to do.
Me-27 H-28 M-2.5 yrs T-8.5 yrs No kids B 1/09 S 2/09
