Partner left after 9 yrs - Finished with ow!! wow

[AliSuddenly]

Thankyou Sandy... yes thats why I did the second post.. I get it, he needs time. I'm disappointed he isnt already ok about it, why come back now if he is still adjusting!? Or maybe he thought it would be fine but something about being at his house and there was some awkwardness between us, made him realise.

I am actually amazed that he was so honest (shame it was under the pressure of me sat in his car with the engine running for a quick getaway). Its the first honest conversation we have had about me and him for nearly 2 years. I dont think I handled it that well. And yes, I was meaning he doesnt have to exhaust himself wearing the mask for me (as I can see he was trying to last night, but looked terrible, tired etc).. but perhaps it sounded like, hey come see me anyway! I think he knew what I meant though, as this is something we have talked about before. I didnt offer to 'help' though, so that was good at least!

And yes, thanks kat, naej, Jeff...I wish I hadnt reacted the way I did, this is all so hard. I am only human, I was crushed, I felt rejected, I have been smiling alot with him and letting him talk and tried to be calm and not be too needy, but then I was the same in bed.. I kept smiling and kissing him alot, so obviously I am showing him I am a done deal, I am really into him! After so long apart, to have the man you love now holding your hand and kissing you on the lips, its incredible and yes it makes you want more.. more more more.. thats what my Mum said.. you cant expect more, you have to lower your expectations of him. But I had this horrible feeling.. am I being boring? Quiet? Is he still deciding and may end it AGAIN?