I am so behind and I have let you down. I am sorry for that. I get involved with the Newcomers and don't "forget" about my friends who are in Piecing, but get sidetracked with trying to support too many at one time. Anyway, enough excuses.
I was really sad to hear that the wife has been at it again. I saw you using a term that Puppy uses when talking about his wife and stitch......that word being a cycle. He talks about his wife and the cycles of A's. That is..........amazing (for a lack of better wording). Really wished I was a phy major b/c that is interesting to know that people do that. I don't mean to sound insensitive to your problem, sweetie. I do want you to know that I have always been as proud as if I were your mother by the way you have stood by this M and tried so hard to make it work. I am not saying anything new, b/c I have told you this often.
I believe I recall telling you something else a long time ago. That you need to call her out on every BS that she says or does and not allow it to pass by ignored or to go by any length of time before you bring it up.
Now, I'm going to say something and it may not come out like I mean it to sound, okay? Lan, you are a "nice guy". I think it may be time to stop being a nice guy to your wife! Am I talking about abusing her or mistreating her in any way? Of course not! I am talking about being nice as long as she is cooperating and not pulling BS. However, the second she starts with the BS......let her have it in a tough love -- no nonsense way. Let her know that you are not putting up with it any longer. When she saw you were ready to call it quits.....what did she do? Right! So, that is why I said to be tough and call her on the spot and not take one thing off of her. You can do that without being a jerk, but you may "feel" like a one b/c I don't think it is your nature to be tough acting all the time. Which, hopefully, you will not have to be that way all the time, but as I told you before.....some women almost have to be treated as if they are the child and you are the daddy. Lord knows that I hate it with a passion when my H talks to me as if he was my father! So, I am certainly not one of those women! However, (and I am probably not making fans with the females, here), I do think there are a few women who need that strict environment.....treatment.....whatever word you want to use. I may be just as wrong as wrong can be, but if I were you.....that would be my LRT. Tough love!
BTW, did you get proof that she has stopped the contact with the co-worker?
I don't understand these "cycles" that I have recently heard some LBH's speak about. It is like a person who tried to break their drug addition falls off the wagon and goes back to their old habits. It is kind of scary. I sure hope something like that does not happen to me! I do believe it is a "choice" so I think that we have to decide that we will or won't, but the temptation must be strong. It has given me something to think about.
Well, I always wish you happiness.....you know that. I will check back in and see what is going on. Even if I don't post, I'll be reading.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
