I feel for you as well. 180s are definitely the way to go. Find something that works and stick to it. I am definitely a fan our boundaries now. If you can, search out Puppy Dog Tails: he's a DB vet here and an outspoken advocate of exposing As and setting firm boundaries. I wish I had a penny of his advice before my sitch got to where it is now. He usually hangs out in AFWAWs and Smiley Persons threads here in Newcomers. Post a quick hijack there and see if he can give you some advice.
Best of luck to you!
Thanks Portland, appreciate the encouragement. Biggest problem for me is following through on the 180's and determining which ones work! So far I keep running into brick walls. There is such a lack of remorse for any of this on her part that it seems no matter what I do, she could still care less about saving our marriage. So I'm still searching for an effective technique (or the gumption to follow through on some DB techniques fully and consistently). The latter is probably the more accurate statement. Guess I'm probably not good at noticing her changes/reactions either as she seems to still not give a **** about us or breaking up our family.
But I will try to read PBT's posts and absorb their wisdom. Thanks.
Me 47 W 44 D16, D13 T 23yrs M 20yrs WAW/MLC + Male EA "BFF from H.S." = Misery
