Setting Boundaries for MLC Alien H

[kjensen]

Hi IL,
This is purely my opinion-based on common sense and the little I know about alcohol abuse... Your H knows how you feel bout him drinking. He probably feels the same somewhere down deep...its gotten him in trouble with the law-hard to ignore..
I don't think you should apologize for what has already been said. I do think that not saying anything in the future might be a good thing to try-anything to get away from what he'll perceive as nagging or mothering is good. I absolutely do NOT think that makes you an enabler. To me an enabler is someone who covers up and makes excuses for the person with an abuse problem. Your H is a grown man. He knows he has a problem that he needs to keep control over, doesn't he? If not a DUI should be his first clue...Keep quiet, keep the kids out of his car when there's a question of him drinking/driving. He may have to learn some tough lessons, but it may be the only he will get the message. Hang in there!

For me, things that trigger happy memories(his tux/your wedding) now seem to cause sad feelings..seeing happy couples at the mall, seeing things I don't have anymore(and in my pity parties think I won't ever have again)..just make me sad..I understand how you might have felt. I think it gets better in time..I hope so.