PS: Thanks Dawn, Lisa and ITH for coming back to post to me, I really appreciate it! And thanks Kat and MsM, K, Mish, Neaj, Bobbi and Sandy for your encouragement.
This is really really really hard, I'm not sure I am strong enough. I love this man, I just keep smiling at him... and looking back on today/tonight, after what he said in the car.. I can see that the reason its awkward and wasnt flowing was becuase he was very down.. but I thought he wasnt that into me and I got scared and unconfident and more tongue tied.. so we fed off each other. When I remembered a funny anecdote and got a bit more animated, he responded and brightened up a bit too.
I was just so crushed that he didnt want to sleep beside me, after being so keen to do that last night. Its like.. well then, did I do something wrong? Are you comparing me to Helen? OR>.. even worse.. is this all serving as a reminder and you are remembering why you left me in the first place ???
But, he said it himself.. he's still feeling his way with this and he thinks he needs some adjusting time. So something either last night or this morning freaked him out and its all textbook hey. Theres me thinking but shouldnt he want to be with me whenever he can, after telling me for months that he missed me terribly? And yet, he left the engine running and wouldnt even come in. That was hard to bear, especially after last night.. but thank god we didnt do it hey.
