OK, a couple thoughts. Why have a talk with the kids? Why not just show them with actions what's going on? I mean if they have ?s that's cool, but it doesn't seem like that will do anything for your kids expect maybe cause them extra stress. We're trying to work things out but it might not? Why not just show them that you're working on your M, being a good role model and all that? Besides your kids have been through the wringer a couple times already, just doesn't seem necessary to me.
I think a major # besides the sex issues, is that your W is looking at "something else", some other condition before she can be happy. I used to do that too, if I had a new house, I'd be happy, or if I lost 10 lbs. I'd be happy. But I don't think it really works like that. I've found myself just living in the moment and each day and trying to enjoy everything: showers, singing along with the car radio, being with friends and kids, etc. I think your W needs to work on both of those issues. You can work on whatever she feels the need to work on: independence or growth or whatever in a M or out.
