The adventure continues--the saga

[AFWAW]

I know it just won't happen. I'm back to considering how and when I expose or get her exposed as I feel that if I expose, she will never reconcile w/ me. We actually went to the beach today together w/ my D and it was ok. She offered to come pick us up and take us out to dinner as well so I accepted as I'm not really in the mood to cook anyway. My D and I took a walk on the beach and my D looked at me and said I don't think she's ever coming home. I didn't say anything but I had to agree w/ her assessment based on how the wife was acting. I actually looked into this warrant officer thing she is talking about and they have an MOS that I filled when I was in Iraq. I don't know if they'd take me but hey that would be more money in retirement and a chance at a new life. Just a thought, they probably wouldn't take me based on my time in service but it did look enticing and based on my experience w/ the Army it didn't look that bad. We'll see, the world is my oyster at this point.

So, back to the matter at hand, how to wreck this affair w/o the wife knowing that it was me. The only thing I can think of at this point is to find out the guys name and call his wife. Other than that, I don't know what else to do. Thoughts? Suggestions?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

My suggestion is to not care on whit if she knows it's you. In fact, it's PREFERABLE. There is no shame in doing everything you can to fight for your marriage and your family. In fact, I think the WORST thing you can do is expose anonymously through a 3rd party. I'd rather you do nothing than that.

Puppy

[AFWAW]

Why is that?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Because if she ever finds out, you'll still have to go thru all the same blowback and repair, and yet without at least having the counteracting benefit of having made a strong and principled stand.

Put more simply, it'll be "You ruined my fun, and were a chickenchit in how you did it."

Reasonable people disagree about exposure, but if you ARE going to do it, you should be absolutely straightforward and honest about it, IMHO.

Puppy

[AFWAW]

Interesting conversation w/ the wife. She called D first and talked w/ her about 1 1/2 minutes and then hung up. She called back on my cell and asked why D didn't call her this morning. I said I don't know and you didn't tell me that she was supposed to. She said if D didn't start calling she was gonna take D for 2 weekends in a row. I said, no, that's not gonna happen. She asked, why not? I said, cause I didn't do this and I don't intend to spend 2 weekends in a row without seeing my D. She said, well we need to sit down and work this out. I said, work what out? She said well can I come over? I said, we are on our way out the door to go to the grocery store. She said well, can I talk to her on your cell? I said, sure. D talked to W for about 3 min and hung up. D said, she's upset that I didn't call and asked why. I said, well, why didn't you? She said, well, she lied to me and she's with another man. I said, WOW. I thought, good for you. I asked what wife said and she basically told me that wife was upset that D doesn't want to talk w/ her and she hung up crying. Consequences, consequences. If wife goes into the Army or we PCS seperately then she really won't see D. I wonder if she thought about that before she started doing this?

Oh, another thing, I don't think I can hang out w/ the wife anymore. Too much heartache for me, way too much, ugh!

[AFWAW]

Ok, nothing heard so far from the wife. Hopefully she's reeling from lack of contact w/ daughter and wondering why she doensn't want to talk to her. I'm back in contact w/ my friend who's going to find out the name of the OM. If and when I get it, I will attempt contact w/ OM's wife. We'll see how that goes. All I can say is I hope the wife had a miserable day yesterday.

[LG nm12]

Hi John,

Hang in there. Let us know when you find out more.

Lucky

[AFWAW]

Oh, eh, oh, just got an email from the wife asking if we could go out of town together this weekend w/ daughter. Oh, eh, oh, isn't that what families do? I don't want to go if there's no getting back together. Don't think I can do the friends thing as I'm too attached. I asked her to give me a call tonight so we could discuss it but I'm inclined to say no. I won't tell her my reasons but I'll tell you what, after spending the day with her Saturday, it took me all Saturday night and up until Sunday afternoon to get over the heartache. Thoughts on this?

[antlers]

My thoughts are this...I'd go! It's an opportunity for you to show her how excellent you are, and what she'd be losing!

[volleydog]

I'd REALLY REALLY want to go but that would get my hopes up that things are changing for the good...I'm not sure the knockdown afterwords is worth it at this time, which I think there will be...btw I think there's nothing wrong with telling her why, you're just telling her the truth about what happens when/if you D.