Not so sure if it is strength or stupidity or stubbornness... but i think you are doing your best and improving your own strength so much.
So, as expected... well not so expected... I was really bothered by this week's 'problem of the week"... maybe it was because we didn't argue. Anyway, I called him this morning with a question - at the time I had no thoughts of working things out or not - just had a question to be answered. He answered. I didn't like the answer at first and then realized he was right to focus on his sobriety.
He calls after his IC and then we talked later. He discussed his quitting behavior in IC esp with me. Tells me he really has no intentions of "really" quitting us and learned some other ways to handle sitch when he doesn't like it. Then mentioned that another part of his IC was his admission that being sober is letting him see many defects in himself - mostly behaviors that he doesn't like and wants to manage better. He told the IC that much of my feedback to him on what I don't like - he agrees with me.
guess the program is working and he is working it.
We talked briefly about moving back together again - and just agreed to disagree on this one. Progress? To be continued.
My thoughts last night and today mostly remind me that it is still early in his recovery and keeping things slow is good.
Silva - I also see the wisdom in your advice about taking things more matter of factly. I also appreciate the message that I don't have to go through this - I may reframe that one for my sitch - not sure how you meant it but in addition to knowing that I can take care of myself - I also don't have to get on the Merry Go Round everytime he does. I can step off the platform and let him ride it out if need be. Anyway, few months more or a year - it will become much easier to know which way to go. In the mean time, I can get my kids settled and I just got approved for a refinance of the house so I can lower my payments and pay off the car. I am OK.
