I'm a little down right now. My W called me early this morning just to talk and things were going great until she asked me if I would buy her a new headboard for her bed. I told her that I would think about it but that we were trying to save money for a new house and to pay off debt. She got upset and told me to just forget about it - that it was going to take us 5 years to get together because I was so cheap, etc etc.
That really hurts. I am really sacrificing and trying my hardest to get us back together. I know that my W's primary love language is gifts, but right now I simply cannot afford to buy high ticket items until we can move into our new house. I try to do little things like write her cards, run errands for her, etc to show her that I appreciate and love her, but I sometimes feel that that is not enough. I am really frustrated right now and a little sad. A part of me feels that no matter what I do, my W will never love me as much as I love her. I think she still has trust issues with me and is afraid to let her guard down completely.
I love my W more than anything in the world and I so much want us to have a happy, passionate, affectionate and fulfilling relationship. It's just that when she makes comments like the one she had this morning and then has a fit about it, it makes me wonder and second guess myself. We've come such a long way since I first began this process and this just confirms that we still got a lot of work to do. This morning I almost gave in and brought the headboard (which was going to run about $700) - but I didn't want to be a pushover. At the same time, I don't want to appear like I am cheap. Later that morning we went out to eat breakfast and she was telling me that she wants to buy things piece by piece before we get the house rather than all at once. I can see her point of view, but she thinks that I am set in my ways and unflexible. I do tend to analyze, ask questions and evaluate things, especially when it comes to purchases (that's the economist in me), but I also would rather be happy than right. Maybe I should just give in and buy the headboard - ahhh - what to do. But I do want to make sure our finances are on track.
