J, I don't think H knows why he has the desire and compulsion to keep contact with OP. I was working with a recovering alcoholic client in my professional work setting. I performed a guided meditation exercise to help her be more aware of her desire to drink. She described the desire as being intense, almost sexual. When I asked her, what was missing in her life, she answered, connection.
She needed my assistance to gain this insight. Otherwise, her pattern was to try and fight the desire, and be upset with herself for having it, and giving in to it.
I'm guessing our WAS's who have affairs are equally lacking in insight into the nature of their desires and compulsions. They may have racing minds with poor capacity for attention, that makes such insight difficult to attain.
Is your H ready to truly understand why he has this desire to contact the OP, and to see what is missing in his life, and work towards getting those needs met in healthier ways? Has he done any work yet on himself?
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
