Hi girls !!!!! So for the good news and the almost, gory details...

OK.. we didnt (quite) do it.. I meant what I said (and told him!!) I want it to be special and anyway I was scared.. he said he was too, petrified in fact. He still leapt on me though, lol! I was worried about that.. afterall, he hadnt even kissed my cheek since the day he left me, but everything was fine and worked as expected!! So the passion was there, like we had not been apart. And it was lovely. REALLY lovely.

So, yes, he invited me to his house (thanks K!)..first time EVER since the day he left me!! and yes he cooked me dinner (a curry!thats it, I'm marrying him).. but didnt say anything to me about me and him or him and her and didnt even hold my hand all night. He took me on a pub crawl (oh dear god) to show me the three nice pubs in the village and I met some of the locals and had a lovely evening. We drank too much though and he wanted to drink more, so this worries me, but hey, I'm going to have to live with it for now.

So we got back to his and I said, where am I sleeping? He said, well, you can sleep with me obviously, or I have a spare room and lots of duvets... and then waited for my answer nervously and then hugged me and so I got teary and said, please just make this easy for me, just tell me, this is your house, where do you want me to sleep? He said very sweet and heartfelt, ok, well then I wanted to lie next to you and hold you, I just want us to hug and to lie down together, I wanted you to sleep in my bed.. so I grinned and said, Right! C'mon then, lets go! (hahaha) and shoved him up the stairs.

I decided to be a bit different, (christ dbing is a hard habit to break).. after 9 years together you always take your own clothes off and I nearly did, but then sat down and asked him to take off my necklace.. and he did.. then bent to his shoes... and I said.. arent you going to take anything else off ? And he said, yes my shoes.. and I said gently, no.. I meant on me.. and he was OHHHhh... ! Nice work hey ! Lots of kissing and constant hugs etc.

So.. I couldnt help myself, I kept grabbing him and kissing his face and stuff! I even thought of all you lot this morning, you all popped into my head and I felt so lucky and it felt so extrodinary and overwhelming and I imagined for a moment that you could all get one night only with the person you love and to have felt a bit of that. It really was quite strange.

I had to tear myself away to do college work, and he said he wants to see me later, with G, who is coming over for a drink maybe (oh god, not more alchohol). He said to call him when I am done, or he will call me, or we will call each other.. so I think I am going back over there. So.. the ONLY thing he said was this...

BF: I'm sorry Al
Me: you are, what are you sorry for?
BF: I've been an idiot
Me: An idiot?
BF: Yes, I'm an idiot...
Me: Ha, an idiot hey, so, thats how you'd sum it up then?
BF: Yes, I'm an idiot. And I'm sorry... (hugged me tightly)

and that was it !!!!! Theres going to be alot more than that at some point.